Dear Dad,

When you hear the word "negotiate" or "settle" or "arrange" be careful not to recall your teaching days. This is not the time to go for that Oxford Dictionary or Advanced Learner's one. You will find these words, but not their "acquired & accrued" meaning and connotation these days...in Nigeria! So, Daddy, welcome to a crash programme on "Getting By" in our times. It is a short course, and an interesting journey into the inner workings and recesses of our minds - both leaders and followers!

The military midwifed the "Culture of Settlement". This meant "pacification through some form of inducement", usually material or access advantage. Some sort of political privilege. So when you hear people backing government policies or actions, the first temption is to suggest that they have been settled! Of course many were so-settled, including labour and community leaders, traditional rulers and religious personages. But not everybody has a price; some true
patriots genuinely supported government activities out of conviction or necessity.

Things have since spiralled out of control. If you owe bills, you are likely to continue to enjoy service once you "settle" the operatives of the utility company/corporation. That was how government businesses were run, and ruined. Some still are. You could "negotiate" contracts, "import/export" tariffs, petroleum tax, etc. as long as you know your way, by paying persons to cook the books. Bank debtors "settle" bankers rather than repay the bank. Lawyers can "arrange" to arraign ghost defendants or obtain ludicrous and real outlandish judgements from cash & carry courts! You can obtain all sorts of titles/honours, including religious, academic and national awards, by "negotiation & settlement". The list is endless.

Now, two particular ones worry us. Kids are getting their parents or guardians to "settle" teachers and examiners for good/high grades. That is hot! People are "settling" journalists and media houses to promote them or pollute others. That is fire!

The ultimate concern is with the security agencies, especially the police. Every Inspector General has promised to stamp out this "settlement stigma" from their ranks. We are still waiting. With the arraignment and conviction of a former IG on monumental frauds against the police, not many people see an early end to the wait!

Give the devil his due, the Obasanjo Administration has made some in-road into fighting this corruption monster. They have canned some high profile deviants, and have been deservedly praised. We wish them more success.

End of Lesson
Dayo